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What vegan meal would be appropriate at my wedding?
The question
Hi, I have been with my fiancé 6 years and we are finally getting married this year.
I'm a vegan and am getting married in South Africa. I am trying to choose a meal which is simple enough for the kitchen there to make which will be special enough for the occasion, and that all my vegetarian guests will enjoy! Please can you advise me.
Thanks!
Naomi
The answer
I'd say it's nice to have at least two options to choose from because then you can offer something "safe" but a little less exciting like a pasta dish, and then something with a little more "wow" factor.I'd suggest something that ties in with local South African cuisine, but I've had a hard time finding traditional meals there that aren't made from meat!
I did, however, find this South African food blog. Maybe there's something on here that can be veganized?
The entrée at our wedding that people liked most was a wild mushroom phyllo roulade. I think anything made with phyllo dough is always impressive, and shouldn't be that difficult for professionals (though beware, phyllo isn't always vegan!). Or take a browse through the domestic un-goddess blog for tons of vegetarian recipes and lots of inspiration.
Hope that helps!
Answered by: Sharon
Approved premises for weddings
The question
I have read that you have to get married in some sort of certified building if you want to marry in England; however I have read accounts of people getting married under an oak tree or in a barn so i feel that there must be some way to get around what seem to be quite rigid rules about where you can marry.
Can you tell me something about this? I'm trying to find a venue as a starting point for an extremely low budget and green wedding!
Tirza
The answer
Dear Tirza,Thank you for your question and congratulations on your engagement!
It is true, I'm afraid, that in England and Wales you can't get married outside; you must be within some form of permanent structure accessible by the public.
The General Register Office website says: 'Marriages can only be solemnized in a register office, a building approved for civil marriage, e.g. hotel, an Anglican Church or in any other religious building which is registered for marriage.'
For Civil Ceremonies, Wedding Guide UK reports: 'There are many restrictions on approved premises. For example, licences will not be granted to: private residences or buildings (as free public access must always be guaranteed); open spaces such as parks and sports fields; where there is a licensed bar in the marriage room (even if a shutter or folding door can be closed); mobile premises like ships, boats or aircraft (unless permanently fixed or moored).
The building must not have any religious connections, both past and present, and it must be deemed 'fit and suitable' and not 'degenerate the solemn institution of marriage'. The designated marriage room in the building may not be used for any other purpose during the ceremony and no hymns or religious readings and music is permitted.'
In Scotland, however, the regulations are a little more relaxed.
To find an approved licensed venue in your area, type in your postcode here
While this means that sadly your oak tree is not an option (although you could have a blessing there or re-read your vows after the legal part had been covered), a barn could well be a licensed venue. For example, although we got married in a church, the barn where we had our reception was a licensed venue: http://www.kingstoncountrycourtyard.co.uk
If you have already found a venue you really love that is not licensed, it might be able to become licensed. You would need to contact the local Council on this as each Council is responsible for licensing venues in their area. For an example, see North Yorkshire County Council's website.
They also have a useful note on the type of buildings that can be licensed:
I do hope this information is helpful. Please let us know if you have any other queries.
Best wishes,
Katie
Answered by: Katie
Marriage blessing in church after registry office ceremony?
The question
Hi Jan,I would really love to have a blessing in a church after our ceremony at a registry office.
Neither my partner nor I are religous, but it would mean a lot to me for many other reasons.
We live in Brighton, but are having our wedding celebrations in Hailsham. Would a vicar be happy to do our blessing in Hailsham given that we live in Brighton and are non church attendees?
Thanks!
Ria
The answer
Hi Ria,
Thank you for your query. Jan has responded below but we have also sent your query on to Sussex-based Light on Life (celebrants) and Getting Married from the Inside Out (wedding coaching); both of these organisations have provided responses below as well.
Do let us know how you get on - we hope you have a wonderful wedding!
Best wishes,
Katie & Jamie
Ethical Weddings
Jan's response:
Hi Ria,
I can't really speak for other ministers I'm afraid. Your local Vicar in Brighton would normally be the person to approach as he or she has 'pastoral care' of you as far as the Church is concerned. But the usual format would be that Blessings take place in church - in your case in Brighton - at some time after the Civil ceremony. Some people choose the same day where others choose an anniversary.
You could approach a Vicar in Hailsham but with no link to the church it would be a rather 'hit & run' ministry you were requesting. Not how we like to operate - but all you can do is ask. They may be really busy and say no but that's the worst that can happen isn't it? Worth a try.
Every blessing on your day.
Warmest regards,
Jan
Getting Married from the Inside Out response:
Hello Ria,
In response to your question about blessings...
I was wondering what has prompted your decision to have a blessing? What are the reasons behind it and what imortance does it have for you? What does it mean to you individually and as a couple to have a blessing? I would then say, as you have stated that you aren't religious, does it have to be a religious blessing? There are other options that could give you more choice -like a non-religious or humanist blessing that can really reflect your own values and beliefs as you have lived and want to continue living your life.
You could have a look here for more information http://www.onlinedivine.co.uk/departments/counselling/wedding.htm
or here http://www.lightonlife.co.uk - they are a really lovely couple based in Lewes who will work with you to create something very personal.
Hopefully helpful food for thought!
Lesley
http://www.gettingmarriedinsideout.co.uk
Light on Life response:
Dear Ria,
Your enquiry was forwarded to me for my advice. We are Independent Celebrants and have a little shop in Lewes, East Sussex.
We create and conduct many wedding ceremonies, always working with the couple to create a ceremony centred on their beliefs. They go to the registry office first and legally marry then usually consider the ceremony we have helped create to be the real one.
Our wedding ceremonies can take place anywhere inside or out, and we have conducted weddings in woods, family gardens, on the beach, in a pub, the village hall, posh hotels, Christian Dior's villa; many different places.
We would meet with you and chat for an hour or two and give ideas and suggestions, and then if you were happy for us to create a wedding ceremony for you, (you need to be happy with your choice of celebrant, you put a lot of trust in us) we go ahead and write a ceremony, we send the first draft to you, you make all the changes you wish, add things, delete things, until the ceremony is yours. We meet up for a rehearsal, and we conduct the wedding on the day and support you, your family and friends.
Ring if you need to chat 01273 476696
And if I don't hear from you, have a really happy day, may the sun shine on you!
Best wishes
Belinda
http://www.lightonlife.co.uk
Answered by: Jan, Lesley & Belinda
Wedding flower dilemmas
The question
I am getting married in a diamond white dress. along with my two flower girls. I have two adult bridesmaids who are wearing hunter green dresses. I am confused as to which colour flowers to go for.. I want a tear drop trumpet lilly bouquet and the bridesmaids and flower girls to have a smaller version... please help if you can!
Gayle
The answer
Hi Gayle,It sounds like a lovely combination of colours and flowers. Hunter green is one of my favourite colours.
I think you are heading in the right direction according to your e-mail. I tend to suggest that brides and bridesmaids have similar style bouquets but the bride's one needs to be unique.
My next suggestion is that the bouquets need to be in contrast with each other and by that I mean that your bouquet should have more of the bridesmaid dresses' colours in it than your own dress colour and theirs more of yours, if you see what I mean. In your case your bridesmaids would have a lot more white flowers in their bouquets for example and less green. Yours would need to have a lot more green in it than theirs.
However hunter green can be a wonderful backdrop to many other colours. I would get a piece of the material then go into a florist shop and hold the fabric next to as many flowers as you can, this will "speak" to you. Have fun doing it!
You are looking at having an ethical wedding, hopefully as natural as possible and in nature there are no hard and fast rules. Remember this is your wedding and although traditionally trained florists stick to traditional rules I encourage my brides to have fun and be happy more than anything else!
If you have any other questions do get back in touch.
Answered by: Beatriz
Reusing my mother’s wedding dress
The question
I was wondering if you had any ideas what I could do with my mom's wedding dress for my wedding in July (I already have my dress).
She passed away 5 years ago, but I feel like I want to do something unique with it at the wedding, or photos or something....she was truly my best friend, and I wil miss her terribly.
Jodi
The answer
To answer the question, I wondered whether Jodi could make a silk 'torana' out of her mother's wedding dress. I believe that in many parts of India it is considered lucky for the bride and groom to pass under a wedding arch - quite often a fabric one hung over a doorway - and this is called a torana.
Many people in India hang these toranas in their houses after they are married as a good luck charm. Just an idea!
Answered by: Jenny
Affordable but modern conflict-free engagement rings
The question
Where can I find an affordable but modern conflict-free engagement ring? I popped the question on Friday to my boyfriend as it's a leap year!
I don't know what came over me! So now I'm (slowly) learning how this wedding thing works as I feel like a complete amateur.
I also run a green business, so I'd like to have a green wedding if possible.
The answer
Hi Laura,
One suggestion I would give is to have a sparkly all in one engagement-wedding-eternity band instead of the traditional engagement & wedding band set (you can see an example here). This is becoming very trendy among non-conventional brides. And to avoid being without a ring up until then, most are opting for a gift of a pair of diamond earrings on the wedding day (rather a clever plan I think!).
On the Ethical Weddings blog you will find information about conflict diamonds and engagement rings or you can get advice from other brides in this section on engagement rings in the Ethical Weddings Forum
Good luck in your search!
Vivien x
Answered by: Vivien
Civil partnership ceremonies
The question
Hello Jan
I am wishing to celebrate a civil partnership in the next year. As a gay couple can
we have a service in church?
Graham
The answer
Hi GrahamUnfortunately we can't offer you this service at the moment.
A civil partnership is the same as a civil wedding - no religious content.
If you have a good relationship with a minister then he or she may agree to a blessing service - it's certainly worth having a chat.
You haven't said where you live but the Wedding Show at the G-MEX in Manchester from 23-24 February is the UK Wedding & Civil Partnership exhibition in 2008. So you might find some good resources there.
Warm regards
Jan
Answered by: Jan
We’re waiting for your questions!
The question
Send in your questions for our experts!The answer
They're waiting to hear from you!Answered by: Katie
